Yet again I am at the peril of this affair. It has never worked the way I wanted it. Time and again I am haunted by the thoughts of my failure in numerous aspects. Sometimes I feel like yelling and crying my heart out, but I guess the luxury isn’t available to me. Everything seems so screwed up that I wonder if it’s really me at the center this time. Halcyon days are gone long ago, now is the time for this turmoil. Every little cause for being happy seems to have been lost. I do laugh even now but that’s when I get frustrated. Seeing people happy around, I feel as if I am in an alien world. All the enthusiasm seems to be gone and spirit dead. It seems as if I am remembering some fairy tale when I think of my college days.
People so often say that there will be a sunrise after all the darkness, but it seems as if I am living on poles. I am desperately hoping for a ray that would glow up this darkroom. I hope for some excitement but at the same time a quote that i read some where flashes in front of my eyes
life in the saddle will teach you one thing, it must be more fun in hell than alive.
